Chapter 1: The Rifflebum Case

Leviathan Jones sat behind his giant stone slab desk listening to his potential client drone on and on.

“You see, detective, I know that someone nefarious stole my family jewel. I just know it!” The tiny gnome slammed her little fist onto the desk. “You have to believe me.”

“I know, I know, Mrs. Rifflebum,” he replied. “You’ve told me at least half a dozen times now. Ancient family jewel, worth more than half the city of Caveumbria.” He pretended to jot down notes on his leather-bound notepad but he was actually just doodling.

“You’ve got to help me, Detective Jones. You’re my only hope.” She blew her nose hard into her tiny white handkerchief and sniffled. Her cheeks were wet from the streams of tears that had been flowing since she entered the office.

Leviathan, or Levi as his friends called him, closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. While he didn’t particularly enjoy working with gnomish people, he did need the money. Buggsy wasn’t going to wait much longer to receive his payment. Fall one week behind and you’d get a stern warning… fall two weeks behind and you were sure to get a good thumpin’ from his crew.

No one fell more than two weeks behind. Do that and you’d never been seen or heard from again.

Yeah, he needed the money and fast, yet… he didn’t feel good about this one. Gnomes were the worst clients. They were almost always rude, expected the impossible, and double-crossed anyone to get their prize.

No choice, he thought.

“Alright, I’ll take the case,” he said, standing up and sticking out his massive stony hand. The edges of his mouth turned up slightly as he imagined a stranger walking in to see the tiny gnome lady standing next to his huge Goyle hand… it would be quite the sight.

Mrs. Rifflebum jumped up and down in her seat. “Oh bless you! Bless you, Leviathan Jones!” They “shook” on it, her tiny hand easily fitting in his palm. He took his seat again, leaning back and tapping his fingertips together under his chin.

“Now, there’s the piece about the price,” he said.

“Whatever it takes, Detective.” She replied.

“Well, it depends on how long the case takes and how far I have to dig, but…” he scratched his stony chin, “twelve hundred bismuth ought to get us started. What do you think?”

Mrs. Rifflebum stared at him for a moment as if she was considering what he had just said. Leviathan kept his face still as stone. Goyles are good at that, after all. Great poker players, as long as there’s no chocolate milk involved.

“No problem, Detective,” she finally replied with a smile.

Leviathan nodded and said, “good, I’m glad we got that handled.” He stuck his right hand out and rubbed his thumb and pointer finger together in the universal sign of “pay up.”

The gnome reached into her tiny purse without batting an eye and pulled out a wad of cold hard cash. Bismuth, the currency of the wealthy in Caveumbria and Levi owed Buggsy a thousand of them by, well, three days ago.

He tried not to let his excitement show, but butterflies were flapping like crazy in his belly. He’d finally be able to get that thug off his back for a few days.

She tossed the money on the table and closed her purse clasp with a _click. _“Should I expect to hear an update from you within a day or two?” She asked.

“Detective work can’t be rushed, Mrs. Rifflebum,” he said as he thumbed through the bismuth, triple checking it was all there. “I’ll get to you when I can. I’ve got your address, though my kind isn’t typically welcome in Gnometown.”

She sighed and shook her head in disappointed agreement. “Well, make it as fast as you can, Detective. I have a legacy to recover here. If you find out who did this and return my stone to me…I’ll make it well worth your while.”

“I will find them, don’t you worry about that. I’ve got a perfect track record and I intend to keep it.” That wasn’t exactly true, but she didn’t need to know that.

“I hope for both of our sakes that you’re right, Detective,” she replied with a smile.

“Tell you what, doll, I’ll swing by your place with an update before the week’s out. We can settle up on the next payment then.”

“How… delightful,” she squeaked.

With that, she hopped out of his visitor’s chair and strode out of his dark office without another word. Strange little bird, he thought. He counted the bismuth again, lifting it up to his nose and sniffing. Twelve hundred. Ought to be enough to cover what I owe Buggsy and get a decent meal… and some chocolate milk. His stomach rumbled at the thought.

He hopped up and shoved the money into his pants pocket before grabbing his hat off the giant nail he had driven into the concrete wall of his tiny apartment. He patted himself down to make sure he had everything and strolled out into the dark village of Caveumbria.